Thursday, 25 October 2012

FMP....First morning pee...

Yep! That's right i'm going there.....

So your sleeping in bed enjoying that exciting dream and it strikes....CRAMP!
 Right in the calf....
You sit bolt upright and you throw yourself onto your hands and knee's, Then onto your back clutching your leg writhing in agony your eyes shut tight...because  we all know its worse then giving birth at this point!
 Finally the pain starts to ease off and you let go of your leg and take a few deep breaths you survived.
Your just drifting back off and then...your alarm screeches through the silence, you make a dive for it, Your only mission at this point is to shut it up as quickly as possible so it does not wake the baby!
 In your heroic dive you tonk your elbow of the bedside table and curse under your breath!
 You find the blasted thing at last just within your grasp but somehow the gadget thing has hidden inside of your pillow case... erm how?! 
Still screaming at you you throw your hand into the unknown and finally turn it off, You collapse from all the drama fall silent and listen out for the baby...silence. 
Crawling out of bed you do a little victory dance avoiding the creaky floorboards and generally being stealth, You reach the bathroom sit down...sigh a breath of relief and let the magical moment happen. 
Cherishing the moment you start planning your day, This will be the first and last time you get to pee in peace today!
You decide on a shower now rather then waiting for nap time later so you stand and resume your stealthy creep across the landing to the towel shelf, Reaching your destination you gently creak the door open and reach inside. 
All of  sudden your alarm screams at you louder then last time and so you suddenly make a run for it but to late the baby begins to wail, The older girls wake up to the sound of your heart breaking, Your dreams shattering. 
You hear fast and furious foot steps as the kids begin their first fight of the day..who gets to use the toilet first?
The baby is smacking her head against the bars of the cot and shouting silently curse yourself for making the rookie error of  hitting snooze!
The dog begins to bark at her excitement of having her first morning pee and THAT is how my day it Friday yet?!


  1. Haha BRILLIANT post Jodie. Very well written and really made me laugh.

    I managed to get out of bed injury free this morning but as baby2 cried for her milk, the urge for my own FMP had to take over. Therefore, by time I hit the flush, all three children were awake!

    1. Thanks Emma :) that means a lot to me! oh dear that sounds so typical! so much for lye ins on half term week :/

  2. Brilliant post! You had me giggling to the end. Have had these mornings far too often. Hope your day improved :o) xx

    1. im so glad to of made someone giggle, my day couldnt get much worse really x x